I was flying to Detroit.  My flight was leaving at midnight, a red eye.  My friend was picking me up at 7:30 am.  I took the only direct flight from Oakland to Detroit.  It was my first time on this airline, one many people avoid I heard.

The day of the flight I did not receive notice to check in, a message I always receive when I am flying.  I initiated the check in myself and was told more information was needed and I was directed to call a specific number.  I did so and was told there was a 75 minute hold before I could talk to a representative.  I did not have that amount of time available so I decided to check in at the airport.

At 7pm my husband got an email, not me, that the flight was cancelled.  He called and was on hold when I returned home from a meeting.  We both pursued the airlines on two different phones and on the internet.

Eventually I spoke with a person who told me the flight was cancelled because of weather.  My only option, given I was dedicated to reaching Detroit this weekend, was to take the same flight the next night.  I made the arrangement.

I called my friend in Detroit and informed her of the change.  She said the weather was ideal there.

My husband was angry at the whole situation: flight cancelled, blaming weather, waiting on two phones for what seemed like forever, and finally, on one phone, reaching a representative from the airline who insisted on speaking Spanish.  He does not.

I handled it differently.  I recognize when I have no control or options.  I let it go.

As I have said before, onward.

My three-month old computer was malfunctioning.  The cursor decided what it wanted to write.  I took it to the Geek Squad and was told I would not have it for 17 days.  I had my former computer, but discovered the hard drive was gone.

I was without a computer.

I had my phone.  I got emails.  I saw Facebook.

For the most part, I read a lot during my spare moments.

After one week, I had a lot of activities on a Saturday.  Midday I went to San Francisco, picked up my daughter and went to my grandson Isaac’s soccer game.  After, Carrie and I went out for dinner.  When I took her home, I said, “I am exhausted.  I want to go home.”  As I pulled away, I was aware that I am never tired until I get into bed at night.

The next day I changed the bed, did laundry and cleaned the house, typical Sunday activities.  At times, I needed to sit down and do nothing.  I was tired and felt incapable of doing anything.  My thought: it is aging.  Finally, I am getting tired.

In the afternoon, I had an epiphany.  I was not tired; I was going through withdrawal.  I who have strong views about the use of technology and how it is replacing human interaction.

I ceased being tired with this awareness.

And, yes, my computer is back and I am on it all day long.

I am a person who could speak to an audience of hundreds of people and feel almost no anxiety.  Public speaking, the most common fear people have, is not mine.  But I do not like initiating conversation with a person I do not know.

This has been a major challenge for me since I moved to California five years ago and I knew no one in Alameda where I chose to live and open a private practice.  It was necessary to meet people as a way of marketing my work.

A couple of business groups were recommended to me.  Each sat in a circle and each person took a moment to introduce him/herself.  I could do that.  But when I went to a mixer or not organized event, I was apprehensive about beginning a conversation.  If someone came up to me and began talking, I was fine.  It was beginning the conversation for me that was the problem.

Eventually I discovered a couple of lines that worked for me, i.e, “What brings you here today?”  Over the five years, I am much more comfortable.

What intrigues me is the number of people I have met socially or professionally who take a while before they admit they are anxious in situations where they do not know people and they avoid these settings.

It is a very common fear.

In all of the years I have practiced, I have never before had three clients end therapy on the same day.  Each was an appropriate ending.  When they first came in to see me, an issue was identified and they had successfully achieved a goal.

The conversation at the last session was very typical.  I was thanked for the wonderful work I had done.  To me, it feels like being credited with their success.

I do not take the credit.

I point out that I may offer some insightful comments, suggest some viable alternatives, and offer support regarding how they feel.  But I do not have the ability to make change in anyone’s life.  Change is predicated on a person’s willingness and ability to do the work.

It is important to me that each client recognize their work in causing change in their life.  The credit belongs to each person.  It is valuable for each of us to recognize and take pride in what we are able to achieve.

Control and success are wonderful.

I watched the movie “Sing”.  It was animated suggesting it was for children.  Indeed, it was, but it was also for adults.  It was inspirational.  It demonstrated how people can perform with great talent and ability when they fail to follow the directions given to them and decide to follow their own direction.

I believe that we are often limited in our performance by having to follow the rules or directions.  I am curious how children will do in school if they are encouraged to pursue their own way of learning.  I am curious how employees will do on their jobs when they use their own judgement.

When I parented, I found my children had their own mode, their own instincts, their own views.  Usually they were very successful by following their own path.

Too often we stifle talent.  Watch the movie.

When I was young, my mother would not talk to me if I was crying.  I never understood her position.

A woman told me someone she knew well confronted her in a way that shocked her.  She did not understand the person’s position and felt unfairly judged.  She cried, and the confronter looked at her in a way that suggested the crying was inappropriate.

Crying is a way to express feelings.  Sadness, joy, depression, anger, are four feelings that prompt tears.

We hold on to too many feelings.  We avoid expressing them in words or in behavior.  Tears are a way of letting go.

It is unfortunate that adults discourage the display.

I wrote earlier about the response people were having to the Trump presidential election.  I am now finding expressions of anxiety and alarm as international events are less than ideal.

Just this week:

Pictures of the effects of chemicals in Syria have angered and concerned people.  The bombing of an airport in Syria by the United States scared people.  And the tension between the United States and Russia have contributed to a feeling of unrest.  The United States used a massive bomb for the first time in Afghanistan and it prompted some to anticipate war.  It is suspected that North Korea will test nuclear bombs and it is believed they have one that could reach California.

It does not appear that the emotional reaction is inappropriate.  We are kept apprised by the news with pictures, interviews, and stories.  Everything is brought into our lives quickly.

It appears that anticipation of conflict between countries is haunting many.  There is not much that can be said to provide comfort.

I went to my grandson Isaac’s soccer game yesterday.  It was in San Francisco so I tried to gauge the weather since it is often different than Alameda where I live.  It was supposed to top out at 68 degrees.  I wore jeans and a light long sleeve top.  I took a sweater just in case.  We went to breakfast first and the sweater was necessary.

At the game, I sat on the faux grass for 1 ½ hours in the sun.  I have always been a sun person and I do not wear a hat or sunscreen, to the chagrin of a couple of people.

When we went to leave, I got up and felt a couple of steps away from faint.  I walked slowly and then knew I needed to sit for a second.  Everyone asked why and then offered water, something I had not consumed during the game.  I walked again and was very light headed.  I felt relief once I was in the car.

It had gotten hotter than anticipated and it has been a long time since I have sat in the sun.  In fact, it has been years.  I am not a water drinker except at meals.

My body has changed since my lifestyle has changed.

I am still learning.

I will begin a column in the Alameda Sun on April 20.  We will see how the readers respond to the idea before making a long term commitment. It would appear once a month in the Health section.  The paper comes out every Thursday and covers the news and events for the city.

I am encouraging the readers (surely there will be many) to submit questions to me via email.  I plan to dedicate my monthly column to the questions submitted to me.

I have decided that I will not address questions that may be inclined to prompt people to believe there is a right answer that would apply to everyone.

It will be an exciting new experience.