Author Archives: Natalie Gelman

New Furniture

I ordered two pieces, one for the living room and one for my office.  I paid to have then assembled.  The man came to do so and chose to begin with the unit in my office.  I had been told that it would take 2 ½ hours to do both units.

After three hours, he told me he was done, but, since he had gone over the arranged time, would need to return the next day to do the second piece.

We went to look at the one he had completed, and I asked him to move it two inches.  As he did, it collapsed.  He told me to order a new unit from the company.

The next day I looked at the piece and easily identified where he had made major mistakes.  I canceled having him assemble the other item.  The company is sending out a new piece of furniture and offered me a discount.

My dear son Erik assembled the piece in the living room.  It is beautiful and still standing after two days.  Kudos!

Fun With Carrie

I was given a gift certificate to a nail salon.  Carrie and I were going to the theater and decided to precede that by getting manicures and pedicures.  I am the sharing mother.

We were having the pedicures and discovered we had different wants.  I wanted no polish on my toes and Carrie wanted none on her hands.  In the midst of having our pedicures, Carrie said, “I am winning this round.”  I realized her pedicure was going to be finished before mine.  I said, “I did not know we were having a competition.  I am not competitive.”

We then had our manicures.  I finished first and said, “I won.”

I lied about being competitive.  With my own daughter, oh, my.

Keep in mind, Carrie you suggested these blogs.

Patience

I grew up in Detroit, the motor city.  I drove on the expressways (that’s what they are called in Michigan).  I am accustomed to delays and backups.  I discovered I am more patient in driving situations than many people.  I credit my history for that.  Yes, I suspect there is a personality feature too.

I drove to San Francisco on Saturday to see Ari play the clarinet at a concert. I was returning home at 3:15 pm.  The time the drive takes is totally based on traffic. The drive typically takes about 45 minutes.  Most would not expect a major delay on a Saturday afternoon.  However, it was bumper-to-bumper, many times at a complete stop.

Having Bluetooth, I called my friend in Alabama.  We talked, and at one point I told Francine we had been on the phone for 31 minutes and I had moved ¼ of a mile.

The drive took 1 hour and 55 minutes.  I cherish going to see my family.

Leave The Room, Please

The family was at my son’s home for a holiday dinner. The core family arrived early to watch the Michigan-Loyola basketball playoff game.  Everyone was wearing their U of M shirts.  We watched the first half and Michigan was losing.

I went into the kitchen to see if I could be of help preparing the meal.  It occurred to me that I have often watched a game of one of the teams from Michigan (which I consider home) and it has been pointed out that the teams loose if I watch.  It can be noted because I watch few sporting events, even those from Michigan.

I said nothing, but I stayed in the kitchen (or bedroom or bathroom) for the second half.

Michigan won.  My contribution.

A Successful Teaching Event

I spent some time with Isaac at his house.  Ari was at a birthday party and Erik and Ellen were working in the garden.  Isaac and I were trying to decide what to do.  We looked at the board games he had and I noticed a deck of cards.  I asked him if he knew how to play Gin Rummy.  He said he thought he might have learned in the past, but asked me if I was willing to teach him.  I said I was.

I quickly reviewed the game; he understood easily.  We started to play and I won the first game.  I explained how points were totaled.  I got 28 points on that game.  He won the next game and got 10 points.

We played for 15 more minutes and I made the choice not to add up all of the points on the last game because he was way ahead already and my last hand had no matches.

Need I say more?

Inspirational

I went to my son’s home for Passover.  The whole family was there.  Erik began by mentioning that their Rabbi had encouraged them to be creative with the service that proceeds the dinner.  She had indicated that the book that is written for the service did not need to be followed literally.

Ari, age nine, decided to write original questions as an alternative to the four in the book.  When we came to that part of the service, he read what he had written, and I was deeply touched.

The first question, which we discussed later, was “How do you experience being free?”

In light of the fact that Passover celebrates the exodus of Jews from slavery in Egypt, it certainly was appropriate.  The answers reflected personal senses of freedom, as well as political ones.  It was a very profound and touching discussion.

As we learn more all the time, leave it to a child.

A Wonderful Goodbye

I was at a dinner last night with three other couples.  The eight of us have been getting together once a month for a long time.  We rotate homes.  One of the couples is divorcing, and last night was the final time the eight would be together.  The male of the divorcing couple is leaving California.

The host led a toast as we began the meal.  She turned to the man who is leaving and said, “I wish you the best as you move into the next chapter of your life.”  She then turned to the woman and said, “I wish you the best as you move into the next chapter of your life.”

It was a very sensitive acknowledgement and recognized the reality of our last time as a group of eight.   Well done.

Self-Reflection

While watching a movie today, I found myself contemplating my priorities.  I found myself to be very content with my life.  I value that I am healthy, that those I love are healthy, and that we are all doing what is meaningful to us.

I have never been competitive; I don’t even like playing board games.  I have strong values and always have pursued what feels meaningful to me.  I do not see my life through other people’s eyes.  I wear makeup because I prefer how I look with it on.

I find fulfillment heightened with the people I work with as they become clearer of their own views of themselves, their own thoughts and feelings.

I must admit, it means a lot that my kids like me.

The Boys Again

Isaac and Ari spent the night with me.  We were sitting in my office.  Ari, who is nine, was in the chair I use when working, ergo, the therapist chair.  We decided to have a session.

Ari asked me if I had any problems.  I said I did not.  He asked Isaac.  Isaac said his problem was Ari.  Shocking for a brother to give this response.  Besides Ari, he said he had no problems.

Ari then said, “You may not have problems, but you still must pay for this session.”

Who is his role model?

Endings

My friend Robin and I met in San Francisco yesterday.  We decided to spend the day together having lunch and going to MOMA.   I took BART in and Robin drove from Napa.

I suggested we have lunch where I had gone with my daughter once near MOMA.  I was informed by Robin that this was her treat to celebrate my birthday.  She also gave me a lovely gift.

There was one exhibit I wanted to see, and Robin was interested in exploring the museum in general.  She loved the wall of green, being the expert gardener she is.  We walked through the photographs of Walker Evans and then went to see the Robert Rauschenberg exhibit.  I had seen the Evans one before and I thoroughly enjoyed the evolution of Rauschenberg’s works which was new to me.

I turned to Robin, who always eludes a lot of energy, and told her I was ready to end our journey.  I favor doing museums a little at a time.  Robin responded by saying she was ready to stop walking too.

I do verbalize my endings.  It turned out well again.