Author Archives: Natalie Gelman

The Boys Again

Isaac and Ari spent the night with me.  We were sitting in my office.  Ari, who is nine, was in the chair I use when working, ergo, the therapist chair.  We decided to have a session.

Ari asked me if I had any problems.  I said I did not.  He asked Isaac.  Isaac said his problem was Ari.  Shocking for a brother to give this response.  Besides Ari, he said he had no problems.

Ari then said, “You may not have problems, but you still must pay for this session.”

Who is his role model?

Endings

My friend Robin and I met in San Francisco yesterday.  We decided to spend the day together having lunch and going to MOMA.   I took BART in and Robin drove from Napa.

I suggested we have lunch where I had gone with my daughter once near MOMA.  I was informed by Robin that this was her treat to celebrate my birthday.  She also gave me a lovely gift.

There was one exhibit I wanted to see, and Robin was interested in exploring the museum in general.  She loved the wall of green, being the expert gardener she is.  We walked through the photographs of Walker Evans and then went to see the Robert Rauschenberg exhibit.  I had seen the Evans one before and I thoroughly enjoyed the evolution of Rauschenberg’s works which was new to me.

I turned to Robin, who always eludes a lot of energy, and told her I was ready to end our journey.  I favor doing museums a little at a time.  Robin responded by saying she was ready to stop walking too.

I do verbalize my endings.  It turned out well again.

Recipes

When my mother died, it occurred to me that I never got recipes from the few things I liked that she made. Yep, she was not a good cook.

When my son moved into his first apartment in college, he asked me for two recipes, my spaghetti sauce and a cherry chicken dish.

Recently I went to his home for dinner.  He served a chili he had made.  It was unique and wonderful.  It was spicy, my preference, but my one grandson could not add enough sour cream to make it palatable.

One of my daughters told me she made the chili and loved it.  I told my son I was going to need to get the recipe.  My plan was to ask for it this week when I go there for dinner.

Today I spoke with my daughter who was eating it as we talked.  I told her my plan to get the recipe.  She said, I can send it to you now and will have it faster than waiting to ask Erik.

And so it goes, we return the favor over time.

Where I Don’t Belong

I was meeting my daughter in San Francisco.  I took BART in and was early.  I walked to the place I was meeting her in 30 minutes and decided to walk around and explore.

I found Dior, Armani, Coach, and a few other high end shops.  They are not where I buy things, and, in fact, I have no interest in entering and exploring.  I kept walking.

Eventually I found Banana Republic.  More my price.  I entered, found the bathroom, and, fortunately, realized it was time to meet Carrie.

For a variety of reasons, shopping is not always my thing.

What Kids Can Learn

My favorite son Erik Rice is Director of College and Career Pathways for the San Francisco school district. Last night I went to the annual event that showcases the programs offered in the schools.  What enhanced learning this is.

I was greeted at the door of the Palace Hotel by students who were welcoming and offering guidance to those who had questions.  I walked into the main room which was filled with tables displaying the programs, students explaining the programs and answering questions, faculty of the programs and many visitors.  It was incredible.

The students at each display explained the focus of the program and what they had learned. They represented each of the high schools.  The students were welcoming and enthused and knowledgeable.  Most planned on pursing some aspect of the program they had taken.

It was inspirational and exciting to experience a progressive way of learning.  The students are thriving.

Loving When Older

I have been invited to speak at the Mastick Senior Center in Alameda.  This facility offers a multitude of social and intellectual opportunities for people over 50.  I was asked to speak on Valentine’s Day and to address the experience of love when we are older.

There are a few ways to look at this experience.  There are couples who have been together for many years.  They have a long history and families that have grown from this relationship.  The love remains a commitment to support and to share a history.  There are memories to share.  A sense of warmth and appreciation remain.

Others have moved on alone for a period of time.  Partners have died or divorce has occurred.  The experience of love often enters after a time of loneliness.  When two people share this background, the mutual awareness can lead to an appreciation of being understood and valued.

Others have spent longer times alone comfortably and then meet someone also independent.  There is a sense of enhancing each other’s lives.

I look forward to learning more from my audience.  They will educate me about love when older.

The event is at 1 pm if you would like to attend.

We Marched Again

I went with the same group to the women’s march in Oakland.  This time there were more men and children than I remember seeing last year.  The number was said to be 50,000 participants.

It is often hard to know how to express one’s feelings.  So many people are troubled by what is going on in this country and the world.  There is a sense of powerlessness.  Studies show it is definitely affecting people’s moods.

The hope is to do something to be heard and contribute to change.  Behavior is a way of asserting ourselves.  Marching, working to get voters out for the next election, and listening to what people’s issues are who are different than us can be valuable.

It felt wonderful to participate with so many like-minded people.

We Acclimate

I moved to California six years ago.  We drove from Maine.  Prior to Maine, I lived in Michigan most of my life.  Clearly, I knew the four seasons.

On the last day of our drive, we began in Bakersfield.  It was October 31.  When I checked, I saw that the temperature in Alameda was 56.  To me, that was the entry into spring.  I wore a blouse.  And I was comfortable.

The next year, I found myself feeling a bit cold when the temps were 56.  As each year has passed, I get colder and colder.  Each year, to the regret of my budget, I turn on the heat in the “winter.”  Don’t worry, I only put it on for a couple of hours.  Instead, I layer more.  And I wear socks.  And this year, I often have a jacket on when I leave the house.

If we choose, we can adapt to almost everything.

Martin Luther King Day

When we moved to California six years ago, we had Isaac and Ari on Martin Luther King Day.  They were eight and five at the time.  We decided to go to Martin Luther King park.  We took trash bags with us and picked up trash.  We took about an hour.  The act of contributing to the care of our community felt like a meaningful public service.

Last year we did it again.  For reasons we did not understand, the primary trash we found were shoes.  We filled our bags. Since the boys were older, they went closer to the Estuary to retrieve trash.  We found the appropriate trash containers and filled them before we left.

Public service is something the boys are learning at home too.  I wish more of us participated in it.

I missed you today, Ari and Isaac.

It’s In The Genes

My nine-year old grandson Ari was in a school performance. I was not able to attend. My daughter told me that his dancing ability was great.

I did see the video.  He danced with a large group of students to a Michael Jackson piece.  They were dressed in appropriate attire for the decade.  It was well choreographed and the kids clearly had learned and rehearsed the number.

I watched Ari.  He had the moves.  I imagined he and Julie and I doing a routine together, just as I did with her many years earlier.

The talent seems to be passing on.